Forthcoming: 32/365

Shhhhh.

Do you hear that?

QUIET.

Not the temporary quiet of sleeping baby. Not the little old lady from Goodnight Moon whispering hush. I’m talking husband with toddler taking a day trip across state lines to visit grandparents quiet. Blue sky almost-spring sunshine fed cats asleep in windows quiet. Alone in the house for a good big stretch of day quiet.

Drink. That. In.

This has not happened since I’ve become a mother. A whole entire day alone. I couldn’t relinquish her to the world for the span of an entire day until today. I know how bonkers that sounds. But it’s the truth. It took so long for the miracle of her to arrive, my life’s sole mission became protectress. It was nothing I planned and everything I had to be.

Fast forward to this week. Plans keep changing. People keep canceling, new things pop up. It must be planetary or something. So it was partly by chance I carved out this day and tasked myself with an assignment that, in reviewing the criteria this morning, seems insurmountable. Daunting at best. For the final section of this thing, I have no relevant awards I can think of nor big publications to brag about. Nothing forthcoming in Glimmertrain or The Sun or Brain, Child.

I’m just forthcoming.

But I have this day, and I’m going for it.

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5 thoughts on “Forthcoming: 32/365”

  1. […] At this time last year, her just-turned-two-year-old self was small enough to fit in the cradle of my legs folded indian-style, nursing while my hands typed. That was my method of buying time to write in the beginning. I know I felt touched-out and drained, and the recurring sentence fragment in my brain was, “To think a clear a thought.” But I can only see it now through a rose-haze, those little hands, the newness of language, the cure-all comfort of breastfeeding. In fact, at the start of this project, I had never spent an entire day away from my baby. Not until Day 32. […]

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