Surrender

I had envisioned a running start for 2017, like an actual running start on the treadmill. I’d quit sugar. I’d be a super mindful craft-and-museum-and-nature mama. I’d tackle my upcoming projects. I’d return to writing in the evenings at the library.

But today we felt even worse than yesterday, coughing our heads off and taking steam baths and watching too much Masha and Bear. Yesterday I’d felt anxious about all the things I wasn’t accomplishing, irritated that my day didn’t go as planned. I still have trouble surrendering to what is. My internal narrator rails against it. I realized it’s a habit I should release and leave behind. So today, feeling even worse than yesterday, I consciously let the anxiety go. Just surviving the hours in a gentle, loving way would be the day’s accomplishment. I haven’t written my lists, but I successfully practiced one of my new year’s intentions. So I’ll count today as a win.

(Post 350 of 365)

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One thought on “Surrender

  1. Absolutely a win. And I hear you on the delayed start or rest rather than run or whatever you want to call it. Also it helps me to think about how real change comes slowly and incrementally…building up good habits, moving away from harmful ones…rather than overnight…

    Liked by 1 person

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