Apple Pie


Today we bought apples. Lots of apples. For eating and for making pie. Apples are my daughter’s favorite food.

On the way home from the store, she asked, “Can I have an apple?”

“Sure, bug, when we get home.”

“Do you want an apple, mommy?”

“Yeah, I should probably have an apple, too. I haven’t really been taking care of myself.”

“That’s okay, I’ll take care of you.”

Oh man, right in the heart.

I hadn’t meant to say that part about not taking care of myself. The truth just unconsciously rolled off my tongue. I keep vowing to quit sugar. Then I click on The Atlantic and see a bunch of white nationalists gathered at the Reagan building in D.C. doing Hitler salutes, and suddenly I need sugar in my coffee and a piece of buttered toast. I make phone calls and sign petitions and struggle with a helpless feeling in the swirl of this madness. None of it is okay. Bigotry will never be the new normal. I will continue to resist it with my entire being.

I will make a beautiful apple pie. I will love my family. I will resist the fascists. It’s holiday season 2016.

(Post 307 of 365)


Another Thing About Holidays: 66/365

There was a popular article circulating on social media a few years ago, before I was a mom, called The Mom Stays in the Picture. I couldn’t relate to it back then, but it left a strong enough impression that it surfaced from memory this morning.

Somehow I am always behind the lens, never in front of it. The article is written from a postpartum perspective, and I can relate to dodging the camera during those puffy-faced, leaky-boob days.

Now I no longer dodge the camera, I just forget to include myself. In the swirl of distraction, I remember to take a few photos of my daughter with her grandparents and with her dad, but I always forget to ask someone to take a photo with me in it.

This year I will remember to get in front of the lens, maybe even before I snap the photos of everyone else.

Holidays: 65/365

I wish I had a lovely photo of our Easter eggs colored with homemade beet and tumeric and cabbage dyes. Yes, I actually did that last year.

But we haven’t dyed any eggs, and it’s not looking like there will be time. I remembered to hard-boil a few this afternoon and then popped them in glasses with some old food-based dyes and vinegar. No child participation, just a big rush.

The lead-up to the holidays always feel like a scramble. In my defense, our holidays involve a minimum of two events but usually three, travel, and a good amount of baking. It will all come together. If only I could find a way to feel a less frantic…